Some might say I am rough around the edges and I very well may be. I am also someone who has quite the sensitive soul. I love to help, whether that be cooking, serving, giving, sharing time or stories. Because of my giving nature, one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned as a Christian is about keeping the seed the Lord gives you for your seed, and understanding what He has for the visible need in front of you. I call this the art of the Holy NO!
There are systems built to rob you, Dear One, of the very seed He has planned for you! We can even rob ourselves and our loved ones of potential blessings, by not understanding what to do with the seed we have been given. There were times when I would throw my personal seed at someone's specific need, only to find that the Lord intended to fulfill that need in a different manner. The reality is that these amazing, wonderful people whom I was giving my seed to, where hindered from the ability to rely on the Lord for themselves, and had to go around the proverbial mountain one-to-many times, partly on my account. My heart was wrenched at the idea that I might be prolonging those I am trying to help, in the very area I was trying to rescue them from! I was setting myself in the position of provider in their lives, and there is only one is worthy of that title - Jehovah Jireh! I had to come face to face with my own understanding of the goodness of God and His faithfulness to provide just as abundantly for them, in His timing.
In wrestling with learning how to steward my seed, the Lord whispered this question in my ear, “What if the seed you’re giving is removing the lesson I am teaching them?” That's when I had the gut wrenching realization; I was giving my seed away out of a fear that the Lord wouldn’t provide for them in their situation. My faith was built on the foundation of promises He wrote on my heart and what He has intimately called me to, but they have their own sweet and irrevocable promises. I was robbing the Lord of an opportunity to work powerfully in their situation, dealing directly with their hearts. But the Lord gives favor and grace to all His beloved, and that is His personal expression to each of us, dear heart! The Lord has been gracious to me as I’ve learned this lesson, failing again and again. He still allows me to invest in people; He still pours an abundance of love and willingness to help people into this heart of mine.
What I didn’t know is that my understanding was too finite, too small. My mindset about my Heavenly Father was wrong, and therefore my expectations of Him were wrong. He was so faithful with my heart and mind to expand my understanding and open the box further and further. Through His gentle whispers, He showed me how magnificent His plans were for those I wanted to help. And slowly, as I opened my heart to trust in the Lord, He would show me that He loved them more deeply than I ever could. I was able to witness His beautiful plans for their lives unfolding in expectant hope before each one. I witnessed the pain of the Lord, as sometimes they chose to go around the mountain again, and I understood more fully His desire for me to eat the seed He prepared for my bread. There were times I chose to go around the mountain again. There were times I couldn’t agree; yet He was gracious and compassionate to me. Time and again, He gave me new seed to sow into new territory and new people, and I was able to release those dearly loved ones in my life into their fullness in Him. This was when the very gentle and pressing Word of the Lord spoke to my ever-softening heart these verses:
1 Corinthians 9:6-11 Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.” Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.
The highlight for me was on verse 10, because I was faithful to freely give, and the Lord saw my heart! I truly believe He keeps record of anytime we exercise faith in all its naïve glory. Often times I ended the day with nothing left, and I was robing my harvest of righteousness to be able to impact families, communities and whole countries. I would ask the Lord how so much could flow though me and I still be so exhausted. I longed to be a world changer! And my generous little heart needed the difficult teaching of saying no when the seed wasn’t mine to give. I began trusting in He who is Faithful at new levels to supply all of their needs in His Glorious riches, and truly trusting that I heard from the Lord where to give and where to sow, and where to take my bread. He would provide the increase and fulfill the promises whispered to my heart. I have not hidden a hope in my heart that He wasn’t faithful to plant in me.
He further blessed me by delving into the riches of Ephesians Chapter 1:8-14, (8-9):
He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding. God has now revealed to us his mysterious plan regarding Christ, a plan to fulfill his own good pleasure.
The beauty of the plan to sow and set aside for bread is the gem of knowledge that He has promised us the wisdom and understanding to be faithful with each seed, to the extent that He promised to reveal His mysterious plan. Dear Heart, He has the plan and He is gifting you with seed to eat and seed to sow for the richness of His Glory. You mean that much to Him. Your seed was not an afterthought; it wasn’t mean for someone else, but you. I cannot express to you the questions I asked of my King as I understood more fully His mysteries I can find only in Him.
(Verses 10-14) And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth. Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.
God’s purpose was that we Jews who were the first to trust in Christ would bring praise and glory to God. And now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own[d] by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him.
God is faithful to teach this heart to hope and long for the promises He’s guaranteed to me, and you! I am growing in wisdom and understanding in the mysteries of Him as to know where to plant, and where to set my seed aside as bread for today. And I pray the same wisdom and understanding over you.
**this was my guest blog originally published under ntodimpact.blogspot.com
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