Provoking

Time Keeps on Ticking, Ticking, Ticking

Whats in a schedule? Well literally months, days, and hours, but metaphorically our influence, our legacy. Schedules are the sum and evidence of all we value. Time and again our schedule tell a story of the things we believe and directly affects how and where we show up in life. A very good friend an inspiration to me challenged me recently to document everything I spent time doing. The harsh reality of my life was spent surviving a workweek at a safe job. Now if you know where I work you understand the potential in working there, the opportunity it presents, and the immeasurable benefits for those looking for a solid company to build a life around.

Now as a self proclaimed work-a-holic i believe in order for work to serve you well you have to have a bit of a romance with it. If the main way you show up in your life is slowly killing you, what are you offering your loved ones? your community? the world? Leftovers. You're offering the sad remains of what once was a beautiful expression of nourishment, vitality, and life.

So,  we've come to the conclusion we don't want our only offering to be leftovers, but now what? Its time to get brutally honest with yourself. Find out where you spend your time. Really scrutinize how you are spending the one asset you cannot buy back. If you have a spouse, partner or family look at your part and the whole of your time here. I have made a list of questions to ask yourself after you've compiled the data on your life.

What values are in place in my life?

Does your time run you, or do you run your time?

Do I reflect with my time my dreams, goals, and desires?

What are my time wasters?

What are my greatest time accomplishments?

If I could invest 15 minutes a day toward a dream, what would that look like?

Tenacity Is The Backbone

I was born an incredibly stubborn little girl with as much loud-mouthed passion as anyone can imagine in that little of a body. Many times I've been offered the opportunity to give up. I say opportunity because there is always a choice! We do not live a one track course, but a many splendid journey woven together daily. Even when they would say, the cards were stacked against me; I never stayed in the place where everything is lost. Everything is lost only when we cease trying. Sometimes this battle is hard won and vicious and others are like a light has illuminated this gentle path through a quiet city.

It used to be I didn't make the drastic or really difficult decisions until I was completely backed into a corner. I chose by not choosing, Now I go into transitions in my life with my eyes wide open. I've learned to trust in the process as one of growth and promise. One of the amazing lessons I've learned to get me out of a funk in my brain has been to create solutions. This allows that same tenacity that used to cause me to come out swinging to really push me to question what I'm holding onto and why! Never doubt, I am still as fiercely loyal and if there is an option I will choose people over processes. Many times I've been placed where even though I had specific instructions from the Lord to a certain outcome; I was called to stand alone in agreement with what He called me to before others could see it. More than once my God-given tenacity has enabled me to stay true to course even under intense pressure to cave into status quo. 

Why am I here? Does this have meaning? Questions everyone faces no matter how healthy their view of themselves and their surroundings. As I'm making my journey to a new town and going through the interview process I am reminded of my foundation in 5 important things. This is the premise that all things in your life fit into 5 categories and anything outside of those 5 areas really lower your impact, focus, and quality of life. If you were standing at the lamppost of your life what direction would you go?

* photos used by permission of Reflections of Revelation and are for purchase at squareup.com/market/reflections-of-revelation

Writing My Story: Worth It

My story is built on vulnerability, restoration and most importantly hope. As I've put pen or type to paper or screen I am reminded of the power in the journey I've had. Its so easy to keep your head down and maintain the status quo surviving. Most of my life I've wanted my story to maintain anonymity. I didn't want to be known for the ugly parts of my story or seen as a victim to the story as it unfolded. So I am taking the challenge in my own hands to be the over comer by the blood of the lamb and the word of my testimony. So if my words can free one person, or shine hope into someones heart, it will all be worth it! As the Lord has dealt with my heart so gently and privately, I am excited to share the tenderness of the Lord in the place of restoration. Maybe just maybe you will get to see a loving Father, who rejoices in His children and delights to walk with us in the beauty that is life.

What IF? Yes!

My big question has been what if? Not in the sense that something terrible is waiting around every corner, but what if everything I've desired could really take place. For a long time I've had these amazing pie in the sky dreams, to be a writer, to be a coach, to own properties. Up until now, they've all seemed so impossible!

Now I know what you're thinking, and no, I didn't come into this amazing inheritance, I just opened my eyes to some exciting options, and said yes. Yes is the place where fear comes knocking, and your dream is so close while its never been further away. You have just set in motion a different outcome for your choose your own adventure book. Saying yes to your dream begins to unlock potential. You'd never expect what is waiting in the place of YES! That place makes a beautiful knot in your stomach and pulls your shoulders back and draws your head high. It takes confidence and trust in who you are to really build in the vulnerability that is where your YES begins. This is my journey, discovering all that Yes entails, building in the vulnerable places. And maybe, just maybe seeing dreams become reality.

Seed and the Holy, No!

Some might say I am rough around the edges and I very well may be. I am also someone who has quite the sensitive soul. I love to help, whether that be cooking, serving, giving, sharing time or stories. Because of my giving nature, one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned as a Christian is about keeping the seed the Lord gives you for your seed, and understanding what He has for the visible need in front of you. I call this the art of the Holy NO! 

There are systems built to rob you, Dear One, of the very seed He has planned for you! We can even rob ourselves and our loved ones of potential blessings, by not understanding what to do with the seed we have been given. There were times when I would throw my personal seed at someone's specific need, only to find that the Lord intended to fulfill that need in a different manner. The reality is that these amazing, wonderful people whom I was giving my seed to, where hindered from the ability to rely on the Lord for themselves, and had to go around the proverbial mountain one-to-many times, partly on my account. My heart was wrenched at the idea that I might be prolonging those I am trying to help, in the very area I was trying to rescue them from! I was setting myself in the position of provider in their lives, and there is only one is worthy of that title - Jehovah Jireh! I had to come face to face with my own understanding of the goodness of God and His faithfulness to provide just as abundantly for them, in His timing. 

In wrestling with learning how to steward my seed, the Lord whispered this question in my ear, “What if the seed you’re giving is removing the lesson I am teaching them?” That's when I had the gut wrenching realization; I was giving my seed away out of a fear that the Lord wouldn’t provide for them in their situation. My faith was built on the foundation of promises He wrote on my heart and what He has intimately called me to, but they have their own sweet and irrevocable promises. I was robbing the Lord of an opportunity to work powerfully in their situation, dealing directly with their hearts. But the Lord gives favor and grace to all His beloved, and that is His personal expression to each of us, dear heart! The Lord has been gracious to me as I’ve learned this lesson, failing again and again. He still allows me to invest in people; He still pours an abundance of love and willingness to help people into this heart of mine. 

What I didn’t know is that my understanding was too finite, too small. My mindset about my Heavenly Father was wrong, and therefore my expectations of Him were wrong. He was so faithful with my heart and mind to expand my understanding and open the box further and further. Through His gentle whispers, He showed me how magnificent His plans were for those I wanted to help. And slowly, as I opened my heart to trust in the Lord, He would show me that He loved them more deeply than I ever could. I was able to witness His beautiful plans for their lives unfolding in expectant hope before each one. I witnessed the pain of the Lord, as sometimes they chose to go around the mountain again, and I understood more fully His desire for me to eat the seed He prepared for my bread. There were times I chose to go around the mountain again. There were times I couldn’t agree; yet He was gracious and compassionate to me. Time and again, He gave me new seed to sow into new territory and new people, and I was able to release those dearly loved ones in my life into their fullness in Him. This was when the very gentle and pressing Word of the Lord spoke to my ever-softening heart these verses:

1 Corinthians 9:6-11 Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.” Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

The highlight for me was on verse 10, because I was faithful to freely give, and the Lord saw my heart! I truly believe He keeps record of anytime we exercise faith in all its naïve glory. Often times I ended the day with nothing left, and I was robing my harvest of righteousness to be able to impact families, communities and whole countries. I would ask the Lord how so much could flow though me and I still be so exhausted. I longed to be a world changer! And my generous little heart needed the difficult teaching of saying no when the seed wasn’t mine to give. I began trusting in He who is Faithful at new levels to supply all of their needs in His Glorious riches, and truly trusting that I heard from the Lord where to give and where to sow, and where to take my bread. He would provide the increase and fulfill the promises whispered to my heart. I have not hidden a hope in my heart that He wasn’t faithful to plant in me.

He further blessed me by delving into the riches of Ephesians Chapter 1:8-14, (8-9):

He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding. God has now revealed to us his mysterious plan regarding Christ, a plan to fulfill his own good pleasure.

The beauty of the plan to sow and set aside for bread is the gem of knowledge that He has promised us the wisdom and understanding to be faithful with each seed, to the extent that He promised to reveal His mysterious plan. Dear Heart, He has the plan and He is gifting you with seed to eat and seed to sow for the richness of His Glory. You mean that much to Him. Your seed was not an afterthought; it wasn’t mean for someone else, but you. I cannot express to you the questions I asked of my King as I understood more fully His mysteries I can find only in Him.

(Verses 10-14) And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth. Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.

God’s purpose was that we Jews who were the first to trust in Christ would bring praise and glory to God. And now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own[d] by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him.

God is faithful to teach this heart to hope and long for the promises He’s guaranteed to me, and you! I am growing in wisdom and understanding in the mysteries of Him as to know where to plant, and where to set my seed aside as bread for today. And I pray the same wisdom and understanding over you.

**this was my guest blog originally published under ntodimpact.blogspot.com